If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
