i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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