I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
