So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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