Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
