can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
