I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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