Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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