i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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