im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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