now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
