How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
