You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
