yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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