I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
