He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
