at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
