why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I currently don't understand fingers.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
