Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
