we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
