I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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