you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
