He kissed a someone with a penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
