There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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