Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize