I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's always time for handjobs
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
