We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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