what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
