so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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