so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
