the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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