Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
