Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
