Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
