White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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