i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
