yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize