so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize