i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
