Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize