so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
