Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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