things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
