yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
