you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
