I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
