just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
