Ketchup is God's man juice
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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