i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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