I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
