The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
