your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
