Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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