My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
