The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
