i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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